A very red volcano, assisted by some clever lighting, in Tongariro National Park. 

Another very red volcano in Tongariro National Park.

The Grand Chateau Hotel, Tongariro. We stayed here; the room was OK, the food was awful but the plunge pool in the basement was superb. 

Joanne rightly showing off having made it up the hard part of the Tongariro Crossing. Note stylish Grand Chateau headgear. 

The land of Mordor from the film of a children's book. 

Hills and volcanoes disappearing into the misty distance in Tongariro. 

Green lake by a volcano, Tongariro. 

A volcano, Tongariro. Note very small people in foreground. 

The inside of the Grand Chateau, Tongariro. 

Obligatory arty lifeboat shot, Picton ferry. 

Blueness, ferry from Wellington-Picton. 

Extraordinary blueness in Marlborough Sound on the way to Picton on the ferry from Wellington. 

Sheep in a vineyard. There must be a pun to be had out of this one. 

Today's fire danger. Careful, now. 

Me on a beach somewhere, possibly Pohara. 

Heroic posing by lovely waterfall near Takaka. 

A fern. New Zealand's big on ferns. In fact, the ladies national netball team are called the Silver Ferns and they go on about them in the papers all the time. Imagine that, netball in the papers. 

These very cute little birds and their mum (or dad) scuttled past us while we were walking a trail round Golden Bay. You can tell they live in a country with no indigenous land predators.

A cormorant, or possibly a shag, somewhere on the north coast of the South Island. 

Our kayaks on a beach in Golden Bay. It was just us, the guide and a Dutchman who stole Joanne's hat. 

A beach we kayaked to in Golden Bay. The picture was taken by our guide, who'd lived in west London for a time. I mean, what are the chances? 

The Lord pays a visit to Punakaiki. 

How pretentious would you say this shot of driftwood on Punakaiki beach was? I'm going for extremely pretentious. 

Rocks at Punakaiki 

The helicopter pilot on our trip to the Franz Josef glacier, our first ride in a helicopter, spent his time eating fried chicken and texting on his mobile phone. He was called Mango.